Be Okay
by SLJones
Summary: "He never asked for this." One-shot of Alaric and Elena talking about his death during 3x20. Could be romance if you squinted and tilted your head to the side.


**A/N: This takes place during 3x20 after Alaric wakes back up and is himself again. This is a quick one-shot about Ric and Elena- him telling Elena about his decision to not complete the transition. I had to get this up before the episode tonight, before they make the poor guy some sort of evil villain and ruin his chivalrous attempted death. Enjoy.**

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_Be Okay_

Alaric gazed at the dull concrete wall in the dimly lit room of the dungeon as if he were staring out at the vast majestic hills of Europe, or perhaps, he mused, the vibrant echoing valleys of the Grand Canyon. Certainly, those were the images one kept in their head right before they died. Images of unparalleled beauty.

Even before Elena had finished her explanation of the events that had occurred, he knew what he had to do. In truth, he was already dead. The Alaric that now sat staring pensively at a dirty grey wall was, for all intents and purposes, no longer alive. He was nothing more than a mirage- the last whispered words from a dying soul. No matter what he chose to do- complete the transition or not- _this_ Alaric would breathe his last tonight.

Yes, Alaric is dead. But so help him God, he will take his vampire hunting alter ego down with him if it is the last thing he does.

The trouble would be in telling Elena and Jeremy.

The metal gate creaked and Ric weakly turned his head to see Elena walk towards him in her bloodstained flapper costume. Already he could smell her blood and he hated himself for it.

If there's one thing Ric never wanted, it was to become a vampire.

"Bonnie is coming. She might be able to do something, figure something out…" Elena whispered, sitting down next to him.

Alaric didn't bother to respond to her statement; knowing as well as she did that nothing more could be done to help him. They've kidded themselves into thinking that for long enough.

He could hear her gulp thickly, swallowing back emotion that had been threatening to overcome her for a good portion of the night now. "Look, I know what you're thinking Ric. But you can't give up- Jeremy and I, we need you-"

"I'm not going to complete the transition Elena." He stated roughly, interrupting her before she could try to sway his already inflexible resolve.

"W-what?" She asked, her voice quivering as her first tear of the night spilled from her face. Her eyebrows bunched up in anger. She furiously wiped the tear away with the back of her hand. "How could you say that? I need you, Jeremy needs you, I mean, even _Damon_ needs you, although he may have bad ways of showing it at times." She scolded him.

Alaric shook his head slowly, turning to look at her in the eye for the first time since she entered the room. "Don't you get it Elena?" He asked, his voice coming out a little harsher than he anticipated. "Everything I touch dies. Isobel… _Jenna_…" He looked back at the wall as his quick burst of passion dissipated, leaving him with the same blank stare as before. "You're better off without me."

"You're wrong." She stated simply.

"Am I though?" He turned back to her, his eyes challenging her to contradict him. "You say you need me, but that's not true. You have plenty to live for Elena. You have Jeremy and Bonnie and Caroline and Damon and Stefan who would all gladly give their lives for you. I'm just the drunk ex-boyfriend of your dead aunt who sleeps on your couch. You don't need me Elena, you never needed me."

"You're _family_ Ric." She whispered, angry that he couldn't see all that he was worth.

He snorted without laughter. "Just because I make you frozen dinners and drive you to school sometimes doesn't mean we're family Elena."

"Listen to me!" She exclaimed, tears blurring her vision. The humorless smirk was wiped off his face within seconds, wanting to comfort her but not knowing how.

She took a deep breath to compose herself before speaking. She seemed in control of her emotions, but when she talked next, she whispered. "You know what I hate? I hate it when you don't wipe the water off the bathroom counter after you brush your teeth. It annoys me how you won't just sleep in one of the bedrooms already, but I get it. I think your cooking is horrible. I wish that sometimes you would just give me a break in history class on Monday morning when you know I've been out dealing with vampires all weekend. You drink way too much."

She glared at him through her tears; he stared back at her with a dumbstruck expression, his mouth hanging open slightly. She wasn't done yet.

"But the nights when you put Stouffers in the oven and we sit and eat it at the dinner table are the best nights in the world. When you help me study for a test I think that you're one of the greatest teachers I've ever had. But most of all, I know that no matter what happens, no matter how much you hate vampires or Damon or anyone else, if Jeremy or I need help you'll always be there for us." She choked on a sob, her tears finally escaping in trails down her face. "_That's_ what family is Ric. When no matter how much they annoy you sometimes, you know that they'll never let anything hurt you."

She broke down, her head in her hands and her heart broken from losing yet another parent. "Shh…" Alaric soothed on instinct, bringing her head to his chest with outstretched arms. She immediately curled up into his side with a sob, clutching his shirt with her fists like a child.

"I can't lose anyone else Alaric. I can't bare it." She said passionately between the muffled sounds of her cries.

He brought his hand up to pet her hair down, acting completely on impulse. It seemed to work though; she managed to swallow her tears. Her face remained buried in his now tear-soaked button down, but he didn't mind.

The problem with comforting Elena was that it seemed to have the reverse effect on him. He found himself struggling to keep his voice even as he began to speak to her, to calm her down. "Do you want to know what I think Elena?" He asked, his voice breaking pitifully in the middle.

She made a noise below him that was a mix between a whimper, sob, and squeak. He assumed it was a 'yes'. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat before continuing.

"I think that you're much stronger than you look. I think you don't realize how much you're capable of. I think that it's amazing that even after all you've gone through, you're still able to smile. I think you're caring and compassionate and stubborn and determined and that nothing- _nothing_ could ever break you. Not a vampire, not a witch, not an Original… especially not me. You think you need me, Elena, but I don't think that's true. Maybe you did, in the beginning. But I've watched you grow so much stronger this summer. You and Jeremy will be just fine without me. You'll be okay." He promised her.

Her breathing had evened out, and if Alaric hadn't known any better he would have guessed that she'd been lulled to sleep. But then she brought her head up to look at him, her eyes puffy and her face stained with mascara-laced tears. His hands stilled on her back as she reached up her palm to wipe his face free of tears that he didn't even know he'd been crying.

Alaric never asked for this. He never asked for vampires or witches or magic rings that turned him into a crazy mass murderer. He never asked to be friends with Damon or to fall in love with Jenna. He never asked to be a vampire slaying history teacher. And most of all, Alaric never asked to become the adopted father figure of two orphaned teenagers.

But if he were to have the chance to do it all again, Elena and Jeremy are the only things he's sure he would keep.

Alaric knew what he _wanted_ to say to Elena, but he wasn't sure if it would be entirely proper of him to say it. Admittedly, dealing with a teenage girl was hard, and Alaric often found himself treading on eggshells around Elena, not quite sure what was and what wasn't "socially acceptable."

_To hell with it._ He decided. _I'm going to die soon anyway._

He took a breath, choosing his words with care. "I know that I have no right to be saying this, but I'm really proud of you." He tried to tell her. It came out as barely a whisper. "You're brave and kind and you never give up on anyone, even me. And I'm proud, even though it has nothing to do with me."

She wrapped her long, thin arms around his shoulders in a hug. Not used to overwhelming displays of emotion, Alaric looped his arms around her loosely and awkwardly. She didn't seem to care or notice, keeping the position for a moment more before detaching herself and sitting back up with her back against the wall.

"This is it, isn't it?" Elena whispered to no one in particular. She looked at the colorless wall in the same manor that Alaric had been looking at it earlier- with a dead, lifeless stare. "You're really going to be gone after this."

"Nah," Alaric said, trying and failing to crack a joke to cheer her up. "I'll just haunt Jeremy from the Other Side for the rest of eternity."

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, giving him a watery-eyed smile that wobbled at the corners- but a smile none the less. Alaric inwardly rejoiced at the small victory.

He sighed, pushing himself up off the ground and offering her his hand to help her up. "C'mon. Let's go talk to your brother."

For Alaric, the rest of the night was a whirlwind of pain and goodbyes. It didn't happen until after Meredith came and gave him the sedative- until after he and Damon had exchanged alcohol, apologies and dark humor in order to mask their true emotions. No, it happened right as he was walking that thin line between consciousness and deep sleep.

His mind wandered right back to the images of hills and valleys and unparalleled beauty. In all the times Alaric has died (and it's been many now), he has never anticipated death. He has never gotten to choose that one thing, that last thing on his mind before it all cut to black.

He thinks that maybe he wants it to be the lights of Paris, or the sunrise in the desert. But no, he's never actually seen any of those things. He needs something _vivid_, something tangible, something he's seen again and again but can never let go of. _That's_ what he needs to lead him into the darkness, into death.

Alaric racks his brain, aware that time is running out. Mountains? He's seen plenty of those. They can be beautiful. He almost smiles, thinking of the trip he and Elena took to the Smokey Mountains to look for Klaus.

He thinks of the way her voice sounded as she teased him about being a boy-scout. Her laughter as he readily admitted to it. The determined way she made him to take back his ring, take back responsibility. The care in her eyes as she told him that he was not a lost cause… just lost.

He thought about Elena. He thought about family. He thought about unparalleled beauty.

And then he slipped away.


End file.
